In Which Our Heroine Braves the Dating Wars
It turns out that today has been a big day in the war between the sexes. I was supposed to have a lunch date. Up til about 10 this morning, the chappie seemed nice. In fact, he still seems nice, but he had to cancel due to a lab meeting. Now, this could in fact be completely 100% true. There are large parts of my psyche that do indeed hold this to be true, as I believe that people should be taken at their word on such matters. But since the cancellation, I have not had an e-mail or a call from him. Oh, these last few hours! (Hee hee, I am joking, folks.) This could be such a simple matter as the strains of the work day, or in best insecure Bridget Jones fashion, could be because am leper and will be found half eaten by alsatians one day. Of course, any quick physical exam shows immediatlely that I have no leprosy lesions, therefore, I shall chalk it up to strains of workday, and not even consider caddishness on an official basis until a couple of days of no contact have passed.

The only reason I am even considering caddishness is an actually completely unrelated event which happens to have occurred last night and today. I have a friend who is venturing forth on Match.com, with not unconsiderable success I might add. Last night, when we met for a movie, she enquired of me as to whether I knew a certain gentleman who happens to be a patent lawyer. I didn't recognize the name, but she wasn't 100% certain of it either. Of course, being a Boston patent lawyer means I can pretty much find out everything I need to know about him in three notes, I mean three phone calls. It turns out that he had called her up last night. Strange? You'd think not, you'd think it sounds like the standards of the dating dance, but she had not given him her phone number. And when she enquired of him about how he got it, he said "well, I know who you are." Creepy? Ra-ther!

Today, she e-mailed me about it, and said she was increasingly uncomfrotable about what had happened. It turned out, when she e-mailed me the name, I did indeed know the chap, and fired off an e-mail to him enquiring as to what this was all about. His response was that she was easy to find on Google, and that everyone did it. This, I concede, is true. In fact, I did the same thing with my date (undate?) for safety and sheer curiosity reasons. But I maintain that it is what you then do with that information that determines whether or not you cross a line of privacy. I ran the same search. To get her last name, you'd have to read through about three reports, and then go to another source to track down her phone number. His defense was that he did it for his own protection, and that "any rational person wouldn't think it uncommon." Further, he stated that if she didn't want to be called, she should get an unlisted phone number. Whaaaaaaat? He also asserted that it would have been easy, and acceptable for him to run searches on other databases to see if she had a criminal record. I agree with her assertion - he should be trying to sweep her off her feet, not determine whether or not she is a cereal killer. Although she has been known to polish off the odd bowl of Fruit Loops................ Needless to say, he ain't getting his first desired date with her, and in fact she is now out on a date with someone else. For which she is following all the standard safety rules: let someone know where you're going, have someone check in to make sure you're ok, and when you'll be back, as well as leave the information you have about who you're meeting. She seems to be having a very good time!
Yours,
Dateless in Boston