In Which Our Heroine Braves Black Friday
It is something I always have to explain to foreigners. First, we have a holiday that doesn't involve going to church, even in a token fashion. It is a holiday solely revolving around eating. Doesn't matter what faith you are. If you want the full tradition, you need some turkey, booze and some football. And then.....the next day, everyone goes shopping. True. It is the single biggest retail sales day of the year. But I never remember it being this bad. I turned on teh TV this morning at 6, and people were already in the malls. Including a rather bizarre moement of one of my classmates being interviewed on television. And this year, I was going to have to brave it working in the shop. I had been hearing for weeks now about "what the holidays are like at Burdicks." I'm getting clues of it. But today was the first real test. And when I turned up at noon, my worst fears weren't really realized. Admittedly, we were full, and we were certainly busy, but for Black Friday (so called as this is when retailers go into the black, although I think from the people working in shops that day it has another meaning, it didn't seem too bad. But then I realized that people were eating lunch. Even on the busiest days, you can count on two lulls. One around noon and one around six, when people eat dinner. Then at one and at seven they come storming back into the shop. For those of you going out shopping in the near future, I offer the following tips:

1. If you're standing in a long line, by the time you get to the front know what you want to order. This way, you will not cause a riot. It is quite amazing the number of people who stand in line like sheep (frequently yakking on the cell phone) and then are suddenly amazed when they get to the front. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, I dunno. Causes of death: being beaten by mob standing behind you or alternately me jumping over the counter and strangling the 85th person who does this to me on a busy day.

2. It is rude to linger in doorways. We have a small shop, but most people like to get a seat. When the seats are full, as they're pretty much going to be until after January, people stand around and wait for seats. Today, for some reason, many people in a row decided to linger in the doorway. This puts them in the way of people coming in, people going out, and also cause people not to come in the shop because they think they can't get in, so we lose business. We now have authority to have a quiet word with people who linger in doorways.

3. There is a five dollar minimum for all credit card purchases. If you don't have five dollars of change in your wallet, just maybe you shouldn't be buying that hot chocolate. This goes double if you're only spending $1.50 on a cup of tea.

4. We are a busy shop, We are not your secretary. If you want to send your 10 year old out while you have a cup of coffee and give her your cell phone, please don't have her interrupt us at our jobs unless there is some sort of emergency on her part. Emergencys, for the record, involve at least one of the following: blood loss, vomiting and/or a felony in progress.

5. I am paid for my job, and I am paid sufficiently. But we do get tips and we do appreciate them. If you're going to make me spend twenty minutes on you while you can't make up your mind, have me make up and wrap up special packages for you and I do it all cheerily (there should be no reward for poor conduct), then consider throwing a quarter in the tip jar. It won't hurt you, but it could make my day. Really.

6. If you are in a crowded cafe, and you are directly in the line of traffic, please try to do your best to move out of that line of traffic. It is not fun for me to have to say "excuse me" to you repeatedly. And I can't tap you on the shoulder since my hands are full of dishes.

7. If you're rude to me, you're not going to get my best service. Tired, I understand. Harried, I understand. Flat out rude, I will not understand. And I will not like it either.
Love,
Your harried hostess