In Which Our Heroine Is Interrogated
I seem to be plagued with lots of questions of late. To my eye, they seem a bit random, but nevertheless I shall answer them here. Perhaps it will provide some sort of greater insight into the skewed map of my brain? (Please note, these are all questions I have been actually asked in the last month.)

Q: If you had a baby, what would you name it?
A: Well, once recovering from the shock of actually having a suprise baby, I would then try to figure out who the father was and see if he had any input. If it was completely up to me, if it was a girl I would name it Ivy, and if it was a boy I'd go for Neil. I wonder why girls have answers to these sorts of questions. I suspect it is part of my theory that you can ask any girl over the age of four what her wedding will look like and she can give you every detail but the name of the groom. I guess bairns are a natural extension of this.

Q: Was Paul Revere a quarterback?
A: No. He was a Patriot, but this was before the NFL. He was more of a defensive guy, doing an end run.

Q: Have you ever been in love?
A: Yes. Twice. The most amazing thing in the world, even though there was so much heartbreak when they ended.

Q: How tall are you?
A: The same height as Abraham Lincoln, our tallest president. Go do your research to find out how tall that is.

Q: What's your resting pulse rate?
A: My lounging around watching telly resting pulse rate is 48. My pulse rate for lounging around watching the Red Sox is 172.

Q: What on earth possessed you to do that?
A: Well, all the girls were talking about how cute they thought that park ranger was. And I'd been chatting to him all day. So they asked me to do a ring check for a wedding band, but he was wearing gloves. Since so many people wanted to know, I uttered those four fateful little words: "So, are you single?" and many people obtained the information they needed to make informed flirting decisions. Not that anyone has followed up on this, apart from the squad officially declaring crushes on the poor man, who has no idea that anyone other than maybe me has this crush! Wouldn't he be flattered to know? I should think so, but I'm not qualified to answer that question.

Q: Are you getting a kitten?
A: Maybe yes and maybe no. There is heavy consideration being given to bringing a kitten into the household. However, it would not be for me. It would be for my current cat, Lexi. Lexi would be my cat, and XYZ would be his kitten. I think he needs some company. He is a happy cat, but I think he gets lonely. Maybe I could name the kitten Ivy or Neil?

Q: What is your advice for the day?
A: If you can't control your peanut butter, how do you expect to control your life? It is from a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon by Bil Waterson, and somehow it just seemed appropriate.